Girl of my Dreams
by Aikaro
Summary: Korra meets someone unexpected in the spirit world; Asami has nightmares involving her mother's death. Strong theme of fire and PTSD, TW for: fire, death mention and description, nightmare description, flying, getting lost, dark unknown areas, characters feeling panic. Korrasami fluff, hurt/comfort. Takes place in Season 4 before Zhu Li returns.


**A/N**: Korrasami secret santa fanfic for tumblr user **nightworldlove.**

OK! Uhh basically, I procrastinated a lot because I didn't really know how to frame my idea, and I wrote it all on my phone at work while hiding from my boss, so, I'm sorry to shove all these excuses at you, but it's really why the fic isn't my best. Anyway, I hope you do enjoy it though, I'm super rusty, haven't written fanfiction in over a year (not even roleplaying I think, I'm rustier than I thought!) but Korrasami is basically the best thing ever and I'm glad you're a part of this community!

Context: Takes place Season 4, before Zhu Li arrives in Republic City to tell them that they only have two weeks to go. Korra has already tried to talk to the spirits and enlist their help and eyebrow ribbony spirit thing has already sassed her, but today she's determined to try again. Meanwhile, Asami is still working on her hummingbird flightsuit plans, and has been holed up in her office for days. I was gonna add more angsty angry violent stuff about Hiroshi and betrayal and add like Asami flying off her handle but I didn't really have time and it didn't really fit with what I was writing (and I was already WAY over the word limit... sorryy...) anyway... I have no idea what I was writing and like none of it makes sense honestly BUT anyway the main theme here is **fire** and warmth.

The two songs featured in here, and that you should be listening to while reading this, are:

**_You're the Cream in my Coffee_** (as performed by Frank Sylvano): watch?v=RoyxFtvAgWY&amp;list=PL7D797EBD172C452D

**_Girl of my Dreams_** (as performed by Gene Austin): watch?v=SqZrZFT4i9U&amp;list=PL7D797EBD172C452D

_Please enjoy!_

* * *

"Good luck. Hey, could you swing by my office later today? I wanna go over the flight-suit prototypes with you. Alright. See you then."

Asami carefully placed the phone back on the receiver and let out a sigh. It was gonna be a long day.

She was slumped unprofessionally in a chair that was far too big for her, behind a desk that was far too small to hold all of her ideas neatly. Blueprints and concept sketches covered the floor around her, so much so that when she had to leave the room to use the restroom, it felt like an airbender's obstacle course. But there was order to it, somewhat. She threw similar papers in piles together, and made sure they all had a weight on them, since the old windows behind her were tricky.

On her desk, everything that didn't serve immediate purpose was pushed into a drawer, and the only things allowed to remain were the lamp, the phone, the radio, and over a dozen worn out pens. She forgot the color of the wood; her plans were piled up all over it, an endless sea of blue and white and black scratch marks. She wondered if this is what her father felt like, when he spent days locked away in this same study, surrounded by madness and genius.

Unpleasant thoughts started to creep in her mind, so she sprung forward and slapped herself in the face to wake herself up out of her slump. After all, there was far too much work to be done, and who knew how far Kuvira's army was from her beloved city. It was time to turn on the radio and get back to work.

* * *

"Hello?" Korra called out, hardly watching her step as she entered the spirit wilds, attempting for the umpteenth time to recruit their help. "Spirits? I need your help! Please!"

Yet everywhere she turned, the spirits she called to fled her presence, vanishing as soon as she came near. Even the tiniest and friendliest spirit wouldn't give the avatar a chance, and the vines seemed to shift back into the shadows at her voice. Though it wasn't unexpected, it had only made Korra more frustrated, and feelings of hopelessness and dread began to weigh on her as she ventured deeper, and deeper, into the heart of the wilds, her head hung low and thoughts wandering.

As time passed, the spirits showed fewer and far between, and the green of the vines slowly darkened until Korra couldn't tell what color anything around her was; she snapped to attention as she realized she had stepped into a place with no light, and no recollection of how or when she even got there. Even as she spun around, searching for a tunnel of light or even the way she came through, she found nothing but the dim glow of a few wayward jellyfish-like spirits, floating aimlessly high above her.

Korra did not do well in the dark.

"Hello?" her voice cracked, "Is anyone there? Where am I?" She whipped around fervently, "Hello?!"

Her cries became more frantic, and she tried to fire-bend for light, but nothing came out. She tried again and again, first in her hand, then aggressively kicking, like she was trying to fight her way out of something, but to no avail. She tried air-bending and earth-bending, but those too produced nothing. Now was really the time for panic.

With the realization that she couldn't bend, she fell to the ground, weak, and the cycle of flashes recalling the times her bending had been taken away or rendered useless came rushing back again. This isn't happening, it's not real, she reminded herself, but Amon's mask filled her sight even as she shut her eyes, and if he disappeared he was only replaced by Vaatu, by Zaheer, by Kuvira. Sweat came pouring out of every pore, and the panic made her feel weaker by the second. Without bending, she felt better left for dead.

But suddenly, Amon's face disappeared from behind Korra's eyelids, and was replaced by a bright light that was only getting harsher as it came closer. Korra slowly stood back up, shielding her face from the source of the brightness. As it came closer, Korra could see that the source was a small red ball, a spirit with no real form. It stopped in front of Korra and dimmed its light a bit.

Korra could sense a sort of familiarity with the spirit, but how and why, she couldn't say.

"Who... are you?"

* * *

The wastebasket by now had been filled to the brim, but it didn't stop Asami from crumpling everything in front of her and shoving it off her desk into it anyway. Worthless, all of it. Nothing seemed to be going right. She laid her head on her arms and contemplated sleep. She hadn't slept properly in a few days, and she knew better than to overwork herself, but the idea of imminent doom provided a new type of stress factor she hadn't experienced since, well, the last time that happened.

She lifted her hand to reach the radio and tuned it to listen to some music as she rested, something she thought might calm her.

And with the crackling lull of the music filling her head, Asami closed her eyes and drifted to sleep.

_You're the cream in my coffee, you're the salt in my stew; You'll always be, my necessity, I'd be lost without you..._

She opened her eyes to the feeling of a warm hand stroking her head. Her mother's lap had always been the safest place in the world, and when she looked up to see her mother smiling down at her, it was like all stress disappeared. Asami was six years old again, in her little red dress, curled up in her mother's lap after a long day following her father around his factory like a little puppy. She already knew she wanted to run Future Industries as soon as she was big enough to swing a hammer. But her father kept telling her, _ It'll be a long time before you have to worry about any of that,_ and so she went to her mother's room, tired from all the walking and playing.

The radio played softly next to them, filling such a quiet moment with a soundtrack that seemed to fit the moment perfectly. She could feel vibrations through her mother's chest as she hummed along to the melody.

_You're the starch in my collar, you're the lace in my shoe..._

"Momma," Asami propped herself up to look her mother in the eye, "Do you think I could be a bender?"

Her mother stopped humming abruptly at the question, then chuckled. "Well, you sort of have to be born with bending first."

Asami frowned and sat straight up. "But what if I invent a way for people to bend, with machines?" she inquired.

Her mother was hardly surprised, her little genius was always full of ideas. "I think that'd be a wonderful resource for non-benders!"

She watched as her child's eyes lit up with the fire she often saw in her husband's, and came to the realization that this was not simply a child's imagination, but gears already turning and ready to change the world.

"Great!" Asami jumped off the bed in a hurry, "Because I already started drawing out plans, they're in my room I'll be right back!" she exclaimed as she sprinted out the door and veered left down the hallway.

Asami flew down the stairs, her surroundings a blur as she focused on the door on the next landing. But as soon as she jumped over the last step, landing feet firmly on the ground, the doors flew open and revealed three men she had never seen before.

"MOMMY!" she shrieked, turning around to sprint as hard as she could back up the stairs. Before she could make it up another step, a blast of fire shot in front of her, causing her to trip and land face first on the staircase. She heard her mother running down the hall to her rescue, but when she looked up, the fire had caught on the staircase and banisters.

"Asami?! Asami what's wron-," Her mother coughed violently, trapped upstairs in the smoke and flame, until Asami saw another blaze of fire strike her mother where she stood, and heard her body collapse with a loud thud.

"MAMA!"

* * *

Korra followed the spirit into an open field, where the sun had come out and the vines vanished, replaced by giant ferns and mushrooms 10 feet tall lining a path. It didn't feel any different than the wilds, but Korra still couldn't use her bending, and she only knew of one place where her bending would vanish.

"Are we in the spirit world?" she asked. "How did we get here? And where are the other spirits?" She frowned, "Are you gonna tell me anything? Can you even talk?"

The red ball just hovered in place, as though waiting for something. Suddenly, the ball burst into a cloud of red smoke, and reformed into the silhouette of a phoenix.

"I'm not sure where we are, as I'm not sure who I am," it told Korra, "But I heard your cry for help, and I've been watching you. You don't seem as though you mean to use us spirits for harm," it moved forward until its face was inches away from Korra's, causing her to flinch.

Korra gulped. "I never wanted to harm any spirits," she explained, "but there's this person who's planning to use spirit energy to attack Republic City, and you guys live here too. We need to protect it together." She stood her ground more firmly this time, ready to convince this spirit to help her no matter what.

The spirit backed away a bit and Korra realized the phoenix had golden eyes as large and piercing as gems. She kept her feet firmly in the ground and waited for the spirit to speak.

"I must... protect..."

The spirit tried to form words but it seemed it no longer could, just whispers, dying whispers of a desperate cry. Then the whispers grew, as did the spirit, grew ten times its size until the spirit became enraged, engulfing itself in flames in what Korra could only assume was the spirit about to form itself to attack. The area became dark again, save for the ball of flame erupting in front of her, but without her bending, Korra wasn't sure what she was gonna do.

* * *

Everything was in flames, and soon little Asami found herself surrounded by a circle of fire, suspended on a platform that seemed to be the only thing standing between her, and a bottomless chasm below, so dark and unknown. She screamed for help but her voice wouldn't come out, and the fire was creeping closer. Her mother's face appeared in the flames, tears streaming down her cheeks. Asami tried to call out to her but her voice still was silent. Then her mother dropped her jaw, and let out a scream so fierce it felt like Asami's ears were about to bleed. Everything turned red, and right then, a body rolled out of the flames, when Asami recognized it as-

* * *

Suddenly, the spirit shrank back to down, until it was just a bit taller than Korra, and shifted its form yet again. This time, it took the form of a beautiful, slender fire nation woman, with black hair tied up in a messy bun, and a nightgown that looked like a costume in one of Varrik's movers. She smiled at Korra, and it reminded Korra of how her own mother smiled at her, with an unconditional love no one else could match. Korra could now see why the spirit was so familiar to her.

"Thank you," the spirit whispered, "for protecting my daughter." She smiled even sweeter and placed her hands over her heart, closing her eyes.

"You're..." Korra stuttered, "You're Asami's mom, aren't you?"

The spirits eyes opened and Korra saw Asami in them, saw every instance where the spirit had watched over her, every moment the spirit had tried to reach out to her daughter.

Korra's voice was low, "You've been watching over her all this time, haven't you?"

Tears formed in the spirit's eyes as she nodded lightly.

"And I have seen that you have as well," she told Korra. "Please, continue to protect her. Protect her like I couldn't..."

A single tear fell off of her cheek and onto the ground. The drop created a ripple in the ground, and the empty field sprung up and became filled with spiritual life. To Korra's shock, spirits reappeared rapidly around them, coming out of the air as if they had been waiting there the entire time.

"I think it's time I returned the favor."

Asami's mother took Korra's hands in hers. Like the fire she represented, like the fire that killed her, she was warm and lively, and inspired Korra to move forward with her plan.

"Will you help me defend the city?" Korra asked, a bit hesitant.

The spirits came in closer and began to circle around Korra. Asami's mother only tightened her grip on Korra's hands.

"Yes," she answered, "but we will only defend. We will not attack. I'm sure you understand."

Korra chuckled excitedly, eyes lit up wide, "Of course! Thank you so much!" She ripped her hands free and sprung forward to hug the spirit, who returned favor and pulled the avatar in gently. After a moment, the spirit began to return to its original form of a red ball, and drifted straight into Korra's chest.

The avatar was instantly transported back to the entrance of the spirit wilds, back in Republic City. She clutched her heart, where the spirit had entered, feeling like she had finally accomplished her goal, and could defend the city against Kuvira's imminent attack. But she still felt like she forgot something...

"Oh shit!" she exclaimed aloud to herself, "I told Asami I was gonna meet her at her office!"

Korra whipped around and took out her glider, and set off for the Sato mansion.

* * *

Asami woke up with such a start she accidentally ripped the large blueprint she had just been resting on in two. The ink was smeared all over the page from her drool, ruining the paper indefinitely. She violently shoved it off her desk and pushed her hair back out of her face with her hand. Strands of hair were sticking to her from sweat, and she felt sore where her cheek had been resting on her arm.

_I haven't had that nightmare in years, _she thought to herself.

She let out a long sigh, trying to calm down, but jumped when the windows behind her suddenly burst open and the wind blew her papers in a flurry.

"Shit!" she put her hand to her chest as she tried to breathe calmly again. When she felt her breathing slow, she got out of her chair and shut the window again. That damn lock was broken again. She latched it shut more firmly this time and slumped her head against the window, staring blankly outside at the setting sun, which coated Republic City in a blanket of pink and orange hues. Even the sunset made her cringe, reminding her of the fire in her nightmare.

Suddenly, a familiar flash of blue flew up to the window and landed on the windowsill outside. Korra almost lost her balance and flew forward, smushing her face against the window in an attempt to push her weight towards the building. Asami couldn't help but giggle and the sight, and after pitying Korra's not-so-graceful entrance, she unlatched the window again and let her inside.

"Asami!" Korra jumped at her and picked her up by the waist, spinning her around, "You'll never guess what happened!"

Asami dizzily tried to regain her balance on the ground again, "Something good I hope. I just woke up," she rubbed her eyes.

"Sorry," Korra blushed, realizing how abruptly and roughly she'd handled Asami. She scratched the back of her head and looked around.

"Your office seems... messier than usual."

"Yeah, well," Asami squatted down and started picking up the papers that the wind had blown around. Korra joined her. "That damn window..."

Asami stopped moving, and Korra looked up to see why she had paused. The inventor shook her hair in front of her face to hide it, always a silent cryer. But Korra watched a tear fall onto one of the concept sketches that Asami was holding, and remembered the tears that the spirit shed.

"Asami," Korra reached out and gently put her hand on Asami's arm.

They sat in silence while Asami hiccuped, trying to suppress her crying. But when she couldn't hold it in any longer, she fell forward into Korra's arms and sobbed into her chest.

Korra held Asami as they sat on the floor of her office. Asami clutched Korra's shirt and felt a bit foolish, like a baby in a safe lap again, free to cry and cry until she drowned everything that ailed her. But she couldn't stop, and Korra began to gently stroke her hair to console her. She stayed silent and let Asami's cries fill the room, save for the radio still playing on the desk.

_Dear, it seems years since we've parted, years full of tears and regret; I've been alone brokenhearted, trying so hard to forget..._

Asami's sniffles slowed down, but she still kept her head on Korra's chest. By now, Korra's shirt was stained wet with tears, but the avatar didn't seem to pay any mind. Asami was grateful that her lack of grace wasn't being pointed out.

She took another breath. "I had a nightmare again," she admitted.

Korra stopped stroking Asami's hair, "The one about your mom?"

Asami shifted to face Korra, wiping the tears from her face, and nodded. She was admittedly surprised Korra remembered that; Asami had only mentioned it in passing in one of the hundreds of letters she sent to the South Pole. "This time, it seemed the most vivid it's ever been..."

_It's strange how life deals you sorrow, sunshine and joy always nigh;_

Korra pushed Asami's bangs out of her face and pulled her close.

"You're safe now," she reminded her, resting her head on Asami's, "I'm here. I won't let anyone, or anything, hurt you."

Asami stopped crying, and for the first time in a long time, she felt like she was really getting to see Korra at her core. She moved her head so that she now faced the avatar, eyes locked. Without a second thought, Asami reached up to grab Korra's face, and pulled her in for a kiss.

_Girl of my dreams, I love you, honest I do;_

When she finally let Korra go, she was shocked at her own behavior and her eyes widened with embarrassment.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean-" Asami stuttered, close to tears again.

Korra pulled her in for another kiss before she could continue apologizing, secretly wanting to stay embraced forever. They sat there, lips together, as night fell over Republic City, and the only light in the room was from the desk lamp.

Korra finally pulled away after what seemed like hours. "Asami," she started, "I met a spirit today in the wilds. Well," she frowned a bit, "I think it was the wilds. Anyway," she continued, "I met... someone you know."

Asami stared quietly at Korra. "Someone... I know?" her voice cracked.

Korra took Asami's hand and put it up to her chest, causing Asami's face to heat up. But as soon as her hand was placed over Korra's heart, she felt at ease. A small ball of light traveled up Asami's arm into her heart, and settled there, before dimming itself out and leaving the room mostly dark again.

_If i could just hold your charms again in my arms, then life would be complete;_

Korra didn't have to say a word. Asami closed her eyes and smiled gently, feeling the warmth fill her body and pick her back up again, feeling whole again.

"I don't think… I'll ever have that nightmare again," she whispered, "Thank you."

Korra pulled her back into another kiss, this time one that became a bit more passionate, and the room began to fill with sound again. Neither felt so lonely anymore, and neither felt so alive until this moment. It seemed that everything was falling into place. The radio continued to play sweet melodies, adding soundtrack to their heated embrace.

_And after all's said and done,_

_There's only one,_

_Girl of my dreams,_

_It's you…  
_


End file.
